February 9, 2006

Scientific observation shows that indeed today was one of a mixed tenderness.
Who was meredith? Why did we laugh together hiding intimacy? moving in pendular motions but not ever touching? WHat was so funny about her grandma tortoise and how she wrote it on the concept map for biolab. and misspelling tortoise, and then me spelling it correctly as another bubble on the concept map. silly.
What tenderness when Christi's wouldn't even look in my direction?
Who was lisa, the nailbiting ,worried girl telling me that everything will be fine and I will pull through it and with a warm smile on top of that? and she was taking the same test as I was going to take.
What about my mother bragging to her friends that I'm so independent, and then worrying that she has been leaving me alone so much and then deciding to come up next weekend. And Erin, who always leaves before she gives her contact info and I felt sad because she wore makeup for me, and her lips were a beautiful pink. I think she had earrings on today, and I didn't even put two and two together. and she said "fuck" after our bitch of a midterm, she said it like an upset high-schooler. it was a like the sound an animal might make if you accidently step on one of its toe, but it was still kind. frustrated but tender. And my brother calls right after asks me some random question, but really probably just wants to talk. the guy never calls me. So, am I grateful for today? I think so, despite the disgusting rain, the red lights, and missed busses, the horrible midterm question that screwed us all, altogether a few of the heroes of my present sitcom pulled through to make me smile, sigh, and dizzy myself with the joy of recollecting. Usually, if times are good, they won't make it to the ramble, because I'm too busy being in those good times. I don't know what happened here.