February 16, 2006

West. tsk tsk tsk. you crazy west. Its a good thing you weren't North, because you have no direction, and every sailor would have died at sea.

Christi... I tried to convince me that she just wants to be a friend, but she is arresting in her looks, and when she's there with a PLAYFUL smile waiting for me to make her chuckle, I can't speak, can't think i have to look away and just pretend i'm actually interested in what's in the scope. I was huge today, because I couldn't just be with her. I ran from station to station, making random girls laugh. when it came time to do the lecture. I was reporting on the plankton that float on top, called palagic plankton. At the end of it, I concluded with the remark that "often they will agregate at the top in groups of four and that is called a quadra-palagic. "

Not a single person laughed, I waited a 3/4 of a second, so I said, "that was a joke"
then they laughed
but out of the corner of my eye I made sure that she had that smile on her face. She must have a good life. Me putting my energies into making her smile. I have a good life too. I get to create it and then I get to see it shine. but come on... just friends. She's not a nerd-lover for the love of god, Its like she likes feathers because she likes to be tickled.
Erin. so many girls. and i don't want any of em except the one that doesn't want me.


And every second that I'm away from her, and them ,.... yes i am free.
free to meat a spiritual animus, free to jive, free to speak and jive, free to cry and sing to the winds of dark SF alleyways. Free to think about the wisdom and the terrors, free to learn the nitty gritty, the dirty little secret of the mind, free to explore the feeling of "someday somerhere there is a perfect forever" and I'm probably thinking about love.
You see, Christi is pretty sweet, but what if she is just human, and she is. I'm hers, but over time, what'll happen?She's such a sweatheart though,.... sarcastic but without the cynicism.