My mom didn't want to talk to me today. She had some stomach exam, and she was scared, and I didn't call her about it, and didnt' answer her call. I guess i am an asshole from all dimensiones now. Which means I have only blackbody radiation.
I realize that my house is not built on anything strong, probably on love.... and love fades.
but what doesn't fade?
maybe that question doesn't fade.
Met emily today. sweetheart. I'm shocked about berkeley. the people here have no sweetness about them compared to the SFSU undergrads. maybe it was just the English and physics kids.
and I was different... not nearly as social as I am over there. i don't know what's happened to me. but not a word to some of those assholishly repugnant guys. such beeffy egomen... sickens me as they brush back their flowing hair, and try to exude their eminent infallibility. what sickening disgust I have for two in particular, I just hope they can be happy living in that. I hope they figure out the truth about things. that they're big I'm slick a freaking weasel air is a freaking joke.
I'm not happy that my mom thinks I don't love her.and I don't know why the hell I can't call her. maybe its MY EGO that doesn't want to look like I did something wrong. Maybe It would be unnatural. Maybe I don't care for her? that's a horrific thought. its the same feeling i get when I don't want to call my brother, kind of an awkward fear that I am being judged and mildly disrespected for a mistake in my personality.
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